We learn to trust when we are very little. The first person we connect with makes us trust them, and it grows from there. Have you ever thought about how wonderful kids are? They believe everything and anything we say. When we tell them something, they don’t usually question us.
Why shouldn’t they believe everything we say? We do the thinking for them. They haven’t been around mistrust yet, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t know what it is at such a young age.
Couple having trust issues. Photo: Pexels.com
After some time, they meet other kids their own age. This is when they start dating, not just with their family, which is what they have grown to think is “normal.” They start to compare their lives to those of their friends, which is when some of them start to doubt each other. They learn that letting other people touch their private parts is not okay. What they learn is that getting beat up for doing something wrong is not normal. They learn that going a day or even two without food is not normal. It doesn’t seem right to them to see their dad hit their mom. They most often find lies, which leads to mistrust. At that point, their lives take a whole new turn. In some way, they grow up, going through the pain and loneliness of living with mistrust. For some, they become it, not trusting anyone or anything. It takes a lot of time and energy for some of those people to get help and learn how to deal with it.
When it comes to our jobs, we trust anyone right away who has been there longer or seems to know more than us. Have you realised that we trust our bosses and the people we work with? The way we trust is like being babies all over again. When we start something new, we want to trust it.
What does “Love is Blind” mean when we first fall in love? Oh, no! That’s funny, because it’s really blind. We trust so quickly and completely that we might be setting ourselves up for the biggest fall of our lives. Have you asked yourself why that happens? Just because we want to, does that make us want to trust someone? Or does trusting someone just make life better and happier?
A broken trust leaves a scar that has its own heart and will never go away. We just get used to not hearing its beat. We try to clear our minds and put it on the back burner for now. There are people here who can do that and people who can’t. It’s not easy for them. It makes them wonder, “Should I trust or not?” Because their minds already don’t trust, they have to find proof and reason to believe. The phrase “guilty until proven innocent” comes to mind. Life is hell for anyone who can relate to that, which I’m sure is a lot of you.
What should we do if the person we love tells us one thing but keeps sending us mixed messages that make us doubt them? We learn from books that we should only trust the people we love. After our trust is broken, only then can we be honest about our mistrust. I say, “Blah!”! Also, we’re told to believe our gut feelings. Okay, I’ll admit I’m confused here. Unfortunately, this subject will be very painful for some, and I’m sorry for that. But we have to face the facts of our lives. How else are we going to deal with our fears and get stronger? Our aim is to have a mostly good life. One our grandchildren will want to hear about. We need to look around and see what’s going on. You have a reason to feel insecure if there has been a breach of trust in your relationship or if you have been mistrusted in the past. You can start to build on that now that you know it. Right now, you need to find the core and throw it away. Most of the time, it’s no longer news and is over.
For lack of a better phrase, start a whole new life as if you were born again. I can already hear you saying, “That’s easier said than done.” There is no doubt about it, but how many times have I said, “Anything worth having doesn’t come easy”? The answer will obviously be a lot. It’s not easy to live. We have to work for our happiness. Everyone seems to be waiting for their lives to be happy. I know I’m one of them. I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that happiness is how you think and how you deal with everything. We can choose to trust or not to trust. There are many bad things that can happen if we don’t trust. These include envy, low self-esteem, anxiety, self-torture, worry, loneliness, and just plain being unhappy. And when we feel that “trust or not trust” thought coming up, we should choose not to let our minds go there. You are smart, and you know what is right and wrong right now, so tell yourself that. You are living in the present, not the past or then. We can choose what to eat without any trouble, right? Or where we want to take a break and spend a lot of money. Then why is it so hard for us to switch our minds? I’ll tell you…HABITS!
I have bad habits. If you’ve read my HABITS blog, you know what I mean. Read it over and over again. I think that something can be changed if someone really wants it to be. Something like, “Let your thoughts decide your goals, and your goals decide your fate.” We’re all going to be happy in the end. We only need to keep our eyes on the prize.
Something in our lives has definitely made us feel suspicious. Some of us already know why they did what they did, but we might never figure it out. But no matter what the reason is, it’s a bad feeling that we can do without. Do something about it, and then do something about trust and love. Note that love comes naturally only when we can trust each other through jealousy, and that always leads to happiness. That’s all there is to it! The steps are yours to climb now that I’ve given them to you. Again, note that the more I told you, the more I was thinking. Please let me know what you think about anything I’ve written here.
I’m in charge of my own life, and no one but myself can.
Things can get better because of me.
I can always choose.
Do you have a story to share? Kindly send it to us via healthslope@gmail.com. Thank you for reading.
